You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
