Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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