I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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