We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
sex in a hospital.. check
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
