i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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