What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
