we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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