This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
