John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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