You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
