he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
