Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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