hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
do nipples grow back?
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