What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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