help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize