as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You ruined the universe
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
