Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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