There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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