I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize