I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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