one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
