Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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