hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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