drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it because I queefed?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
