trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
nutella sex= disaster
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
