He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
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No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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