Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
