...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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