I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
