his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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