nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
