i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
