I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
