Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
