There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
