I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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