I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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