Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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