I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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