There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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