so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I deserve this hangover.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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