butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
