I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize