Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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