so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize