Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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