doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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