Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
