I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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