you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize