Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
