I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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