he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
handjob tips. give me some.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
