Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
