My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
