do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
