i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
