So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
