We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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