i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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