Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
